PROTAG:
For every revelatory
find and change
I have experienced in the last thirty days

There is an absence
a missing part
the other breathing;
another human’s beating heart

but moreover, it’s the talking over hurdles
and the talking out of rashness
the challenges to sadness
that come from

hearing a voice that’s not yours
deflecting every leap of logic
that oozes from your pores

i’m realizing now
that ain’t easy to find
don’t need a body to hold
i need eyes in the unknown
so pick it up fast
while you’ve still got the time
although you hate to admit it, you won’t make it alone

said i’m dying
heard it’s nothing but a chest cold
said i’m nothing
heard you’re something to me
said there’s something i’m not comprehending, where’s the ending
heard you skid half a mile down donohoe street
where we left off
abrupt, your expression
I hadn’t recalled.
that was then, now we’ve ten days left
and i’m wondering if you’re up and what you’re up to

creature of habit
i knew right where to find you
the old video store you worked at
must’ve been midnight

you were bunkered in the back
midway thru ‘after hours’ on a tube tv
and vcr by battery

teri garr and tommy chong and ‘pay to cum’
i stood behind you and i watched
you didn’t notice i had come

to interrupt your silence,
your final moments,
seemed the very last thing i should do,
so i backpedaled away from you

looked happier there
than i’d seen you in a while
after all, ’twas i
needed a guide in the unknown
So, genuine peace,
must stem from being alone.
that’s when you spun me around and put a dent in my shoulder

VIOLET: how’d you find me?
PROTAG: Well, we run our sequence obviously
VIOLET: if that’s true, why aren’t you locked in your home?
I don’t wanna die looking into your eyes
PROTAG: figured so, that’s why i thought i’d get going
VIOLET: ya know, you’re a curse. when i was seeking the best, it was like you actually wanted the worst,
goddammit, boy, you got it. you got those answers you were looking for, don’t look so downtrodden. fuck!

i tried anger, then i tried sadness, then i tried rage, then i tried crying
I bet it thrilled you, to abandon someone
i bet it cauterized quicker cause of just how hard i was trying
i could’ve used someone here
for this world ending ordeal

PROTAG: i’m here right now

VIOLET: But you may as well not be
you can stay, if only for pity
so you hit stucco stead of slinging through the streets