Listen to Fountains of Wayne

I’m on all fours crawling ‘round on a hardwood floor I’m searching for a contact lens I wish that I could say it’s the first time, but I just Fired off a message, said “It happened again.” And in between blind scans, I hold my face to my phone And beg the stars that it says that you’re typing A couple words of encouragement or at least understanding But, alas, all that I’m reading is nothing I’m focused on the way that you punctuate your sentences Not anymore! I hope it’s not too late I hope that you can wait a few more hours ‘Til I get home How am I supposed to get through? While I’m here there’s not a lot I can do for you How am I supposed to go on? When the porch lights are all off and the shades are all drawn It’s a seven minute drive from the mall to the condominium we share without traffic But the tricky thing regarding that metric is that there’s literally always traffic I’m carsick I conjure up a primalesque scream from my seat Narrowed in on the hitch of a Tacoma So in the weeds with excuses that I don’t even notice That I’m swerving ‘cross the lines in the road I’m focused on the way that you punctuate your sentences Not anymore! I hope it’s not too late I hope that you can wait a few more hours ‘Til I get home Why’re these modern embraces so goddamn abrasive? Modern abrasive, uh huh Why’re these modern embraces so goddamn abrasive? Modern abrasive, uh huh Well, it’s not quite what you wanted But all the I’s are dotted Be a pain in the ass to return now that you got it Oh, somehow you’ve forgotten War is over if you want it And it’s easy to see Throw the caution tape up on it The average human being lives for around 80 years. 80 years. Chew on that. Get back to me sometime.

We got free admission from a case of diet cola Certificates to take ourselves to Six Flags That's what I call luck What could lift us from the muck more than an all-expenses paid trip to Six Flags?! Sure! I lost my job and Sure! You had to shave But onward to the day that we won't care All we gotta do's snip the coupon from the case And the world'll see the face we make when we don't care I was in my room contemplating a tattoo Until i learned we get to go to Six Flags Now it seems i have forgotten every stupid want For soon we'll be delivered unto Six Flags Yeah! We'll park the van and Then we'll storm the gate We'll stay until they kick us out cause we won't care Problems that we have will simply have to wait Until the day after the day we say that we don't care Supersonic gravity-defying steel inverted roller coasters Smiling happy teen employees pushing button that say Go into the gift shops, purchase t-shirts Telling everyone we came And that we saw And that we conquered every wrong That we came And that we saw And that we conquered every wrong That all the bad in both our lives Burst from our chests in the instant we arrived That all the pain in both our lives Burst from our chests in the instant we arrived And for a single blessed day From about 9am till 8 We weren't worried, we were weightless And we didn't care

In vacant lots In towns the cities say that time forgot I take my chances I rendezvous with strangers Buy their wares no longer needed It’s my passtime It’s how I’ve spent my life Now, I’m not expecting you to validate all I’ve accrued It’s starting to overtake my living space This old upright piano No longer played, maybe never played Its keys pressed down with Teen Beat Magazines and old fiesta plates I only hope you’ll understand I only ask that you will try to comprehend But you’re just like them! I can tell from how you hovered ‘round my kitchen Your footsteps so tentative! I’m only one small person In a world so full of material things I’ve surrendered. Can’t you see? I’m one with them. To you these look like hand-me-downs The shit other people were throwing out Some perverted concubine to a woefully warping & stunted mind You’ll tell all your friends you didn’t have a good time Attractive enough, but not quite your type Get out of my house Get out of my sight There’s no room for another It’s already too tight Goodnight If you forgot me by now I’d say everything has gone according to plan Please let me die here Alone with my possessions Sell my bones to someone wholesale and burn my house down Never think of me again

A face in the crowd I can’t believe I picked you out Of the hundreds or thousands of people at the station today I could say I wasn’t looking It’d kinda be a lie Waited for this moment since the day I came alive It was 1980, 7:30 in the morning, Springtime You were on the TV I was sifting through some file cabinets Hopeless But the words you gave inspired They lit a spark in me Don’t mean to cause commotion I’m just trying to get it right And there’s only one request I have for you If you could just fit me on to your schedule I promise that I’ll make it worth your time If you could just fit me on to your schedule I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine If you could pencil me on to your schedule I promise I won’t take too much of your time If you could just fit me on to your schedule I can let you get on with your life I know it might sound crazy I hear it in your voice, it’s all the same Been worrying about my future since my future got away I feel you may have answers No pressure if you don’t Could always come up empty, but I’m confident you won’t All I need’s an hour, or a couple, or a day if you can spare one What you tell me I will grow I’ll sow the seeds, you’ll see it Again, I know, sounds crazy but your voice becomes my own And there’s only one thing left I’ve to see through If you could just fit me on to your schedule I promise that I’ll make it worth your time If you could just fit me on to your schedule I’ll be fine, I’ll be fine If you could pencil me on to your schedule I promise I won’t take too much of your time If you could just fit me on to your schedule I can let you get on with your life Then I can get on with my life I had a dream last night that you broke into my house and you robbed me of everything that I have and I had to stand there and watch as you carried my possessions out -- except for the ones that you didn’t want, which you threw into my fireplace. Why did I dream that? Lord. I sat bolt upright in my bed with sweat pouring out of my face. That was the worst dream I think that I’ve ever had. That was the worst dream I think that I’ve ever had.

The other day on the street some smiling kid with the ASPCA shook my hand uninvited i pulled away, smiled back, and dismissed "Already donate to them." That was a lie that I told to avoid interaction It was barely a blip on the radar Kind of event I’m registering now with only a fraction of attention as I blitz to a train car Could be the king of Chicago, or The top of the pops But we'll bank it till tomorrow ‘Cause this evening I’m not Oh, i'm downwind Over for now Kick it downstream Over; I’m worried about A cactus made of plastic Made my home feel exotic Now it's collecting dust and I regret I ever bought it I watched a crane at sunset Work on high-rise apartments The lights clicked on once it got dark I wondered who was driving it I wonder what their day looks like If they have trouble shutting down at night I wonder if they like their life If they find it more fulfilling than I find mine Talkin’ to my therapist now, he says he hears these mullings-over all the time It's a Midwestern frame of mind As a people, we compare, we obsess and may well never satisfied So, consider me envious If you’re blaming your sign That sure zips it up easy Saying stars don’t align Oh, i'm downwind Over for now Kick it downstream Over; I’m worried about A cactus made of plastic Made my home feel exotic Now it's collecting dust and I regret I ever bought it Vacation hours rollover And only getting older Jogging along the water I wondered why I bother I’ve spent whole weeks waking up with a chip on the shoulder Sorry, not much of a talker I’ve got no problems getting out of bed it's more the section that comes right after ‘Cause there's at least a dozen things I know that I need to do And I can't stop turning over doing them Some of them are milestones, and some disguise as monuments And I can't discern between the two of them Guess I haven't really checked in with myself in quite a while Though i'm almost always thinking about me Seems like something in the air has changed, some kind of plate has shifted now From "Bite me" to "Whatever makes you happy, man” Downwind Downstream Really, I like this plastic cactus And my dachshund chihuahua And this person I live with Sometimes just hit a wall and Forget how good I got it Forget how good I got it Get one some stupid bullshit and Forget how good I got it.

I was in a bad way Burned some palo santo to see Why every day felt wasted and everything meant nothing to me Saw an ad in the window At the CBD store that just opened At the cross street of Ralston and Buford Only $8.95 for a bundle, it said It'd calm my immune system Clear out my head So, I paid Something about the sky's shade of blue Got me in the mood To start the figuring out The first time i tried was that night But I couldn’t find a light So frustrated i tossed it aside and got high And watched footage of Blur playing shit off of “13” from 1998-or-9 The next day I got it right away Like the start of a joke And i waved it around until the room filled up with smoke And I sat and I basked in the glow of a stick in a bowl For a half hour or so, I sat and watched a stick burn in a bowl When it burnt out I smiled. I was satisfied. Tied the rest of the bundle up and tucked it in a shoebox i've kept For a long time, a long time That I might as well finally uncap a Sharpie and label, “Artifacts Of Figuring It Out” Life felt a little different until it, well, didn’t again Give the city time and you’ll find the city isn’t your friend Life felt a little different until it, well, didn’t again Give the city time and you’ll find the city isn’t your friend I was in a bad way Burned some palo santo to see Why every day felt wasted and everything meant nothing to me

Got a show at Bottom Lounge tomorrow afternoon, We’re openin’ for the Popes and couldn’t wait to share the news Set to raise hell. Now it’s slowed to a crawl And I’m driving myself right over the wall Now I don’t think I’m falling asleep tonight Went to buy some Pringles at the 7-11 Some drunken bro was trying to rob the place Grabbed him in a bear hug and I talked his ass down He squirmed around a-cryin’ till the cops dragged him out Now I don’t think I’m falling asleep tonight Tired but the chatter’s growin’ louder, louder inside my head Can’t imagine lying here for five more hours, man, I’d rather be dead Tomorrow won’t arrive for the bloodshot pair of eyes in this bed Now I don’t think I’m falling asleep tonight Aquarium drank for these American blues Took off and I assassined down the avenue Now I can feel my heart beat and my insides move All courtesy of money spent on deadbeat saloons No, I don’t think I’m falling asleep tonight Tired but the chatter’s growin’ louder, louder inside my head Can’t imagine lying here for five more hours, man, I’d rather be dead Tomorrow won’t arrive for the bloodshot pair of eyes in this bed Now I don’t think I’m falling asleep tonight No, I don’t think I’m falling asleep tonight No, we’re never falling asleep tonight